I Really Do Try…

…to keep up with posts on this blog. But that’s not working out very well. Ultimately, I want to try to blog as much as possible in my fourth, and final year of my undergrad (EEEEEEEKKK!). Anyway, while we’re at it….I’ve been thinking about life, the future, etc. consistently for the past couple months. To be honest, it’s scary. High school used to be that “safe” place once upon a time…then university became that new “safe” place….and once you’re in the “real world” where’s your “safe” place? We keep getting introduced to these little portions of time that we come to define as our “safe” places…but they never seem to be constant. New experiences can be scary, and so many things can seem uncertain until you establish yourself within your goals and dreams.
I wanted the summer to go by as slow as possible…that’s  not working out in my favour…July is almost over. I’ve lost all concept of time…because time just keeps fast forwarding. I know August will be a month of craziness and I’m not sure if I’m QUITE ready for that. It feels like just yesterday that I was a 17 year-old anxiously anticipating her residence assignment for her first year of university…and now look at me…I’m ‘dreading'(I could have used a better word) the start of my last year of undergrad. Although time has gone by fast, I’ve changed as a person and matured and experienced things I never knew I would. I’ve fought against getting consumed by the world and its desires, I’ve gotten lost in my own goals and dreams, and I’ve also tried to live the dreams of others while trying to find myself. It’s been a mixture of struggles and successes, sandwiched between emotions and memories. It’s a lot less scarier when you have the right people standing by your side, while you both experience similar roller coasters of experiences and emotions. There will always be uncertainties as you face the future, but you have to emphasize your life on what is certain and then slowly step into uncertainties as they slowly become stabilized certainties. Regardless of how alone you might feel when it comes to facing the future, you’re never alone and you need to have that fact solidified in your head – you and thousands….millions…billions… of others are in it together. In it to face life, one step at a time. I just need to keep reminding myself of that instead of getting so caught up about what’s going to happen 6 months from now. BREATHE. Think about the present. Living in the present allows you to prepare yourself for the future.  

Three Years Later, Now We Here.

Yes. Exactly three years ago, to the hour, I was going through random UBC blogs(UBC Blog Squad blogs as well as regular WordPress blogs of UBC students) and came across Carly Wong’s first blog – how many blogs does a girl need? (but go check out this one while you’re at it.. http://carlywongv2.wordpress.com/ ) …because what other method of procrastination did a soon to be first year UBC student have? Especially when they should have been studying for their Biology 12 Provincial Exam? And to procrastinate even more, that 12th grader decided to start her OWN blog – whoa. Then this happened. 
I know I haven’t been blogging very much, but regardless of that, I’ve been getting lots of questions on here from soon to be first years and I’m extremely happy that I am able to pass on my knowledge to you all! 🙂 It’s like reliving my pre-first year excitement. Which makes me move onto my next point….I’m going into fourth year. HA HA ha…ha..wait what. That’s some scary stuff right there, so I refuse to delve deeper into that topic, I’m still a bit touchy about it, so I have nothing more to say about that at this current moment.

As per always(is that even a proper phrase? I don’t know, but we’ll go with it), I do have the intention of blogging more frequently, it just isn’t happening apparently…..but the busyness that is life has died down a tad bit as of today, so maybe I will get back onto that…..so, peace.

Third Year Overview, When I Grow Up.

Now that it’s summer, I figured I should probably make a post on here….since last month was completely hectic. One may think that they have an excellent exam schedule….until they realize how much time they’ve wasted, resulting in very little time to study, hence the solution is to cram and study like you’ve never studied before. BUT, sometimes, that cramming thing actually works because you’re so determined and desperate to do well on your finals. And sometimes, you think you know nothing, but apparently all that cramming you did transferred useful information into your head, which translated in actually knowing things for your finals. Check please.  My week of finals in a nutshell = a drunk blur (substituting alcohol with academic knowledge stuff). I don’t remember much except for pages and pages of notes and countless hours spent in pseudo-solitude…because it got to a point where all my friends were done with their exams and I was still going…(that was slightly depressing). 

ENOUGH of that. 
It’s summer, and I’m enjoying every minute of doing nothing related to school – although that won’t be lasting for too long since I’m doing summer school, because I just LOVE school that much and CANNOT get enough of it. *mylife* 
I’m more excited than one would expect me to be, about the World Cup – yes, I actually watch soccer, be surprised. 

SO.
I can’t believe that I’m actually done third year…this is mind blowing. Who knew I would make it this far, not me. It’s weird to me to think  that just 3 years ago, I was still in grade 12….’ready’ to graduate from high school and ready to enter a new chapter of my life that would be called UBC. Now in approximately one year, I will be graduating from UBC – WWHHHAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!? I’m not even ready to talk about that. Be warned all you future first years, your undergrad goes by at the speed of light.
I can hands down say that this was probably one of the best years of my undergrad(apart from first year…really wasn’t too fond of second year, it was okay). This year was a year of learning and independence. This year gave me a sense of  purpose I hadn’t felt before and shaped me as a person through experiences and the people I chose to surround myself with. Second term of this year was probably my favourite, I got closer to a lot of people and met lots of new people that I was really able to connect with on many levels – people that would be with me as I progressed. I think I matured a lot this past year, and well, maturing is a great thing in life – makes you feel old, but it’s real. As a result, my way of thinking has evolved and the way I approach situations and circumstances has also changed. It has allowed me to gain a broader perspective on life(actually), and actually apply the knowledge I’ve gained through various interactions. I hate to say this, but I almost feel like an adult…it’s weird. Looking back since I graduated high school when I was basically a ‘kid’, it boggles me how much I’ve changed as a person. Seventeen year old me and twenty year old me are NOT the same. We may ‘look’ the same, but we do not ‘think’ the same  – experience changes people, and it’s weird, but in a cool way. Experience allows you to let go of people that probably shouldn’t stay in your life, and hold on to the ones that do belong by your side.

Growing Up Is..Weird.

Never have I been too fond of “growing up” and being an “adult”. I will forever be a kid at heart so don’t go planting weird “you’re an adult now” implications in my head. I was told that once you were done high school, you’d be entering the real world. WELL, I’ve been in this SHELTERED “real world” for the past two and  a half years…yes, I call UBC/large universities in general, “sheltered” – UBC can be very ‘bubble-esque’. Once I’ve graduated from UBC, I can say I’ve ‘officially’ entered the real world, regardless of the fact that I’m going to do more school. BUT, in order to not completely feel lost in this so called real world, I need to find a job…or something of the sort that relates to what I want to do with my life – jobs aren’t easy to find(*scary*), but networking, that should be your hobby. Don’t be scared to put yourself out there, it does more good than harm, usually. Moving on…so a lot of my friends from high school are at that point in their lives where they’re moving into the next chapter of their life……that whole marriage business and starting fresh lifestyles with their significant other/spouse, it completely blows my mind how much people can change in a few short years. Sometimes it feels like I’m just a kid that goes to school, and then these friends of mine seem so much more mature, getting married and starting their long term lifestyles….I can’t do that. I’m still kinda figuring out my life and who I want to be and where I want to be, and how I  can get there – baby steps, one corner of the puzzle at a time.  The first 5-7 years after you graduate from high school are probably some of the most significantly life changing years of your life. So much can happen/change in the few years after you graduate relative to the change you experienced in the same amount of years, during grade school. As per usual, I say all this as if I’m some expert, like the whole ‘5-7 years’ thing, where on earth did I even pick up that statistic from? It has barely been 3 years since I’ve graduated from high school, but I can vouch that a TON has changed for me already, so obviously I’m a reliable source. 

Random promotion: UBC Peer Programs … UBC Peer Programs Application I strongly encourage you to apply, especially if you’re a first year right now(but really, it’s never too late), get involved! Apply to be a MUG leader as well! You won’t regret your decision and you’ll probably meet some of the best people around and make a lot of great connections with fellow peers and leaders! (Applications are due by February 6th). 

Hey, how’s you.

So it’s been a not so down with the blues, gloomy, November this year since it’s been rather sunny/rain-less for most of the month. YAY. And as I say that, we’re expecting rain at the end of the week… Anyway, there are only TWO days left of this term, and I can’t even come to terms with how fast this term has flown by. I always feel like I go to Hogwarts or something whenever this time of year comes around at UBC, something about winter and Christmas and going home for the break. I’m still peeved by how I’m hindered from having some decent wintery fun during the first few weeks of December with my friends thanks to those things called finals. 😦 so many fun things to do…….but ain’t nobody got time for dat? 
Anywho, I’ve been thinking (notice how I’m procrastinating from studying), this time of the school year is when we’re so absorbed into things that we need to get done, that we tend to neglect those around us. I know I’m completely guilty of this(I promise it’s not intentional! it just happens..), hence why I felt like making a post of it(see what I did thur?). So many little things are consuming my time and attention that I look past the big picture. Sometimes I lose my genuineness when I’m having a conversation with someone, they won’t have my undivided attention and it’ll just seem too forced out of politeness, regardless of how well I may know that person, that is bad bad bad bad bad. Or I’ll have a conversation with someone and it’ll be a mutual rant of all the things we have left to do. Whatever happened to a simple “hey, how’re YOU doing?” — not the generic run through of “hey!” “hey!” “how’s it going?” “good! you?” “good!” “kay, see ya later!” “bye!” – regardless of how crappy I may be feeling on a day, when I have one of these run-by ‘conversations'(if you can even call it that), I will automatically spit out a “good”, just to get by and avoid all further questions since the other person, or myself, are in a rush. I know I’m not the only one. So, take a few minutes to step outside of your little bubble and reconnect with anyone you’ve disconnected with. 

Sweet Nothing.

Nothing. Which is what I’ve been up to tonight, mainly because the weather outside tells me I should stay inside, and I would have been productive(like watching pointless videos online and figuring out some course stuff for next term and next year and just surfing the net about life) buuuuttt it took forever to update my computer. I have  a surplus of excitement over the fact that I just changed the colour of my highlight on my computer to turquoise from the green that it used to be… Anyway, while I was waiting for my computer to update itself, I made some paper snowflakes, it’s therapeutic I tell you! 

Happy halfway through November! I am officially done with midterms and labs and whatever other “major” things I had to do for my courses. It’s been a trek of an academic journey this term, I can’t remember the last time I was midterm-free. It’s like a huge weight has been taken off of my shoulders and I now have time to actually take care of the other things I’ve been meaning to do (ie., relax a little more than usual, not be frantically frenzied 24/7, learn about the wooorlldd, and oh yeah, trying to find some sort of a job for this coming summer). I’ve been thinking about research quite a bit lately(I would have laughed at the idea of me doing research if you had asked me this 6 months ago – although I don’t want a career doing research, because that’s just not me), but I haven’t fully been able to focus on it to foster a specific idea as to what I’d be interested IN researching(although I do have a VAGUE idea of the general field that I’m interested in). Over the past two months I have learned a great deal about myself, and my abilities and this has really helped me to figure out what I truly want to do. The general theme of what I’ve wanted to do has been the same for years and years, but it’s been as of recent that I’ve been able to shape the specifics. It’s like all the small pieces are coming together and slowly forming a larger picture, which is absolutely excellent. FACT: blasting One Direction while studying to block out all the background noise from people and whatever else is annoying, absolutely BRILLIANT #noshame #theymotivateme