I Really Do Try…

…to keep up with posts on this blog. But that’s not working out very well. Ultimately, I want to try to blog as much as possible in my fourth, and final year of my undergrad (EEEEEEEKKK!). Anyway, while we’re at it….I’ve been thinking about life, the future, etc. consistently for the past couple months. To be honest, it’s scary. High school used to be that “safe” place once upon a time…then university became that new “safe” place….and once you’re in the “real world” where’s your “safe” place? We keep getting introduced to these little portions of time that we come to define as our “safe” places…but they never seem to be constant. New experiences can be scary, and so many things can seem uncertain until you establish yourself within your goals and dreams.
I wanted the summer to go by as slow as possible…that’s  not working out in my favour…July is almost over. I’ve lost all concept of time…because time just keeps fast forwarding. I know August will be a month of craziness and I’m not sure if I’m QUITE ready for that. It feels like just yesterday that I was a 17 year-old anxiously anticipating her residence assignment for her first year of university…and now look at me…I’m ‘dreading'(I could have used a better word) the start of my last year of undergrad. Although time has gone by fast, I’ve changed as a person and matured and experienced things I never knew I would. I’ve fought against getting consumed by the world and its desires, I’ve gotten lost in my own goals and dreams, and I’ve also tried to live the dreams of others while trying to find myself. It’s been a mixture of struggles and successes, sandwiched between emotions and memories. It’s a lot less scarier when you have the right people standing by your side, while you both experience similar roller coasters of experiences and emotions. There will always be uncertainties as you face the future, but you have to emphasize your life on what is certain and then slowly step into uncertainties as they slowly become stabilized certainties. Regardless of how alone you might feel when it comes to facing the future, you’re never alone and you need to have that fact solidified in your head – you and thousands….millions…billions… of others are in it together. In it to face life, one step at a time. I just need to keep reminding myself of that instead of getting so caught up about what’s going to happen 6 months from now. BREATHE. Think about the present. Living in the present allows you to prepare yourself for the future.  

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Third Year Overview, When I Grow Up.

Now that it’s summer, I figured I should probably make a post on here….since last month was completely hectic. One may think that they have an excellent exam schedule….until they realize how much time they’ve wasted, resulting in very little time to study, hence the solution is to cram and study like you’ve never studied before. BUT, sometimes, that cramming thing actually works because you’re so determined and desperate to do well on your finals. And sometimes, you think you know nothing, but apparently all that cramming you did transferred useful information into your head, which translated in actually knowing things for your finals. Check please.  My week of finals in a nutshell = a drunk blur (substituting alcohol with academic knowledge stuff). I don’t remember much except for pages and pages of notes and countless hours spent in pseudo-solitude…because it got to a point where all my friends were done with their exams and I was still going…(that was slightly depressing). 

ENOUGH of that. 
It’s summer, and I’m enjoying every minute of doing nothing related to school – although that won’t be lasting for too long since I’m doing summer school, because I just LOVE school that much and CANNOT get enough of it. *mylife* 
I’m more excited than one would expect me to be, about the World Cup – yes, I actually watch soccer, be surprised. 

SO.
I can’t believe that I’m actually done third year…this is mind blowing. Who knew I would make it this far, not me. It’s weird to me to think  that just 3 years ago, I was still in grade 12….’ready’ to graduate from high school and ready to enter a new chapter of my life that would be called UBC. Now in approximately one year, I will be graduating from UBC – WWHHHAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!? I’m not even ready to talk about that. Be warned all you future first years, your undergrad goes by at the speed of light.
I can hands down say that this was probably one of the best years of my undergrad(apart from first year…really wasn’t too fond of second year, it was okay). This year was a year of learning and independence. This year gave me a sense of  purpose I hadn’t felt before and shaped me as a person through experiences and the people I chose to surround myself with. Second term of this year was probably my favourite, I got closer to a lot of people and met lots of new people that I was really able to connect with on many levels – people that would be with me as I progressed. I think I matured a lot this past year, and well, maturing is a great thing in life – makes you feel old, but it’s real. As a result, my way of thinking has evolved and the way I approach situations and circumstances has also changed. It has allowed me to gain a broader perspective on life(actually), and actually apply the knowledge I’ve gained through various interactions. I hate to say this, but I almost feel like an adult…it’s weird. Looking back since I graduated high school when I was basically a ‘kid’, it boggles me how much I’ve changed as a person. Seventeen year old me and twenty year old me are NOT the same. We may ‘look’ the same, but we do not ‘think’ the same  – experience changes people, and it’s weird, but in a cool way. Experience allows you to let go of people that probably shouldn’t stay in your life, and hold on to the ones that do belong by your side.

Growing Up Is..Weird.

Never have I been too fond of “growing up” and being an “adult”. I will forever be a kid at heart so don’t go planting weird “you’re an adult now” implications in my head. I was told that once you were done high school, you’d be entering the real world. WELL, I’ve been in this SHELTERED “real world” for the past two and  a half years…yes, I call UBC/large universities in general, “sheltered” – UBC can be very ‘bubble-esque’. Once I’ve graduated from UBC, I can say I’ve ‘officially’ entered the real world, regardless of the fact that I’m going to do more school. BUT, in order to not completely feel lost in this so called real world, I need to find a job…or something of the sort that relates to what I want to do with my life – jobs aren’t easy to find(*scary*), but networking, that should be your hobby. Don’t be scared to put yourself out there, it does more good than harm, usually. Moving on…so a lot of my friends from high school are at that point in their lives where they’re moving into the next chapter of their life……that whole marriage business and starting fresh lifestyles with their significant other/spouse, it completely blows my mind how much people can change in a few short years. Sometimes it feels like I’m just a kid that goes to school, and then these friends of mine seem so much more mature, getting married and starting their long term lifestyles….I can’t do that. I’m still kinda figuring out my life and who I want to be and where I want to be, and how I  can get there – baby steps, one corner of the puzzle at a time.  The first 5-7 years after you graduate from high school are probably some of the most significantly life changing years of your life. So much can happen/change in the few years after you graduate relative to the change you experienced in the same amount of years, during grade school. As per usual, I say all this as if I’m some expert, like the whole ‘5-7 years’ thing, where on earth did I even pick up that statistic from? It has barely been 3 years since I’ve graduated from high school, but I can vouch that a TON has changed for me already, so obviously I’m a reliable source. 

Random promotion: UBC Peer Programs … UBC Peer Programs Application I strongly encourage you to apply, especially if you’re a first year right now(but really, it’s never too late), get involved! Apply to be a MUG leader as well! You won’t regret your decision and you’ll probably meet some of the best people around and make a lot of great connections with fellow peers and leaders! (Applications are due by February 6th). 

Week 2.

This week has already started off on a better note compared to last week(my mood and no rain, definitely has a positive correlation going on), I just WAS NOT feelin’ the whole school thing back then. I also decided I’d be a tad bit more social in my classes and be willing to talk to new people instead of being anti-social(like I said, I wasn’t feelin’ it last week to make friends or anything of the sort). One thing that makes me feel conscious about making friends in classes is when you have clicker questions: I don’t want them to think I’m a complete idiot. Let’s be honest…I don’t always….ever….95% of the time pay attention in some of my classes…I kind of drift off into my own world..or write stuff down without really processing it in my head…and then BAM! *clicker after clicker* and I just sit there with a derpy expression hoping that I clicked in with the right answer/the person beside me doesn’t ask me what I put. Usually the people beside me either think I’m stupid OR that I’m an EXTREMELY slow reader…. “what did you put?” “ohh..uhhh….hmmm…I actually haven’t finished reading the question yet” …. seriously, that rarely works in your favour when the question is a sentence long with like 10 words…. and then the OTHER scenario would be “hmmm..I’m not sure, what did YOU put?”- that’s how you socialize.  Remember, clicker questions are your gateway excuse to sparking up some kind of a conversation with that cute girl or guy in your class, so take it and run with it – if you make a fool out of yourself, it’s okay, just laugh, because foolish funny is cute. 😉 So go on, make some friends in your classes, don’t hesitate to initiate conversation, who knows, maybe the person next to you wants to talk to you as badly as you want to talk to them, but they’re just shy, like you! You could very well make someone’s day by just talking to them, making someone else happy, makes you happy! Yay! 

2014 – I’m feeling lucky.

Happy 2014!
They say whatever you do on January 1st, you’ll continue doing every single day that year….let’s see if that proves to be true…
After much reflective contemplation, I’ve decided that 2013 wasn’t really a stand out year. It was a somewhat emotional year where I partially lost myself, then slowly got back onto the right track and re-gained the confidence that I once lost, or maybe never even had. I welcomed people into my life that probably should have stayed out(boooo!), I unintentionally pushed people away that I should have pulled closer(another boooo!) …but at the same time, I allowed people into my life that helped set my life where it should be and made me realize who’s welcome, and who’s not(yay!). I’ve constantly realized how important it is to surround yourself with people that genuinely care about you and want to help you move forward and bring up your confidence, not knock down your self-esteem. I’ve also had encounters with people who allegedly claim to be on your side, and allegedly CLAIM that they’re always looking out for you and always want the best for you when really, they’re just trying to make themselves look good with underlying ill-minded, selfish, backstabbing intentions – honey, this ain’t middle school. I highly encourage everyone to stay away from people like that, trust me, it makes life so much better to relieve yourself of that, plus it’s probably better for your health.
On a side note in reference to this whole blogging thing, it’s getting so much harder to conceal my identity…I feel like I talk about a lot of things to people which means I most likely wouldn’t post about  it on here..which is my explanation for posting A LOT less than I used to…bittersweet. In first year I would blog about first year courses and what life on residence was like and a lot of events that were very much geared towards first year students….now that I’m in third year, my courses are more specialized and it’s seemingly much harder to talk about things(school,involvement, life, etc) in a general way that wouldn’t reveal who I am.

Anyway, putting everything that should stay behind, behind; here’s to a fresh start and a new year filled with new friends to meet, old friends to cherish, new experiences to live, new memories to make, and great things to come.

Month 1 Recapped.

Well that’s that – it’s the last day of September and I’m making myself put aside time to write this post and rewind a little. This month has been crazy busy since the beginning, lots of orientations and trainings for this and that, it all started with  Imagine Day, MUG leader training, and then it just hit it off from there. I’m much more involved in various things this year(as opposed to my previous years at UBC when my involvement was very focused on one specific area)- this is both a good thing and a challenging thing. My course this year is very heavy, not at all what I expected it to be. Although I’m taking 5 courses(which is how many I normally take), I feel like I have something due every single day, a pre-reading quiz here, an assignment there, etc etc. At least I’m never bored…that’s a good thing, right? I also feel a lot more free and easy-going compared to last year when I was feeling much more uptight about many things – this has helped me a great deal. I’m still learning to manage my time properly with academics and extra-curriculars, considering I really need to take this year seriously regarding academics, and strive to achieve the best I can. I’ve met a ton of awesome people so far this year and I think it’s really made a positive influence on my life in general. YAY. As per usual, I feel the need to take time to emphasize the craziness that we call Vancouver weather – it’s September, why is it so freaking cold?!?! The weather’s more emotional than a PMSing girl.
And now I should go read some psych..

Here’s to third year with a few fresh starts, some new beginnings, experiences, and adventures.