I Really Do Try…

…to keep up with posts on this blog. But that’s not working out very well. Ultimately, I want to try to blog as much as possible in my fourth, and final year of my undergrad (EEEEEEEKKK!). Anyway, while we’re at it….I’ve been thinking about life, the future, etc. consistently for the past couple months. To be honest, it’s scary. High school used to be that “safe” place once upon a time…then university became that new “safe” place….and once you’re in the “real world” where’s your “safe” place? We keep getting introduced to these little portions of time that we come to define as our “safe” places…but they never seem to be constant. New experiences can be scary, and so many things can seem uncertain until you establish yourself within your goals and dreams.
I wanted the summer to go by as slow as possible…that’s  not working out in my favour…July is almost over. I’ve lost all concept of time…because time just keeps fast forwarding. I know August will be a month of craziness and I’m not sure if I’m QUITE ready for that. It feels like just yesterday that I was a 17 year-old anxiously anticipating her residence assignment for her first year of university…and now look at me…I’m ‘dreading'(I could have used a better word) the start of my last year of undergrad. Although time has gone by fast, I’ve changed as a person and matured and experienced things I never knew I would. I’ve fought against getting consumed by the world and its desires, I’ve gotten lost in my own goals and dreams, and I’ve also tried to live the dreams of others while trying to find myself. It’s been a mixture of struggles and successes, sandwiched between emotions and memories. It’s a lot less scarier when you have the right people standing by your side, while you both experience similar roller coasters of experiences and emotions. There will always be uncertainties as you face the future, but you have to emphasize your life on what is certain and then slowly step into uncertainties as they slowly become stabilized certainties. Regardless of how alone you might feel when it comes to facing the future, you’re never alone and you need to have that fact solidified in your head – you and thousands….millions…billions… of others are in it together. In it to face life, one step at a time. I just need to keep reminding myself of that instead of getting so caught up about what’s going to happen 6 months from now. BREATHE. Think about the present. Living in the present allows you to prepare yourself for the future.  

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