My Mind = A Place of Complete Chaos.

I think I’m confused. My mind is a cluttered mess of academics + personal stuff + feelings (stuff and feelings, yes). I’m a girl that gets lost in her thoughts rather easily. Sometimes most of the time, that’s a problem. I over think things that shouldn’t be over thought, and under think things that shouldn’t be under thought – imperfection at its best. Half the time I don’t know what I want, and when I know what I want, I refuse to go after it because I’m stubborn like that…or because I’m afraid of my own feelings. I know life isn’t about living in fear, it’s all about taking risks and not being afraid to go after what you want and whatnot..but that’s easier said than done. And then there are those instances when some things feel right when they’re “wrong”. Anyway, my  mind is actually too chaotic to write a decent post. Life’s complex. THE END. 

it’s never the “right” time, that’s why it’s called a risk.

Can It Be Friday Already? Please.

I’m basically drowning in Organic Chem right now. I’m basically turning into a semi-social hermit (oxymoronic? yes)..basically I talk to my friends that are in my classes and hang out with them and study with them, and almost semi-ignore(that’s a harsh word) everyone else…except a couple people — that probably made no sense. Anyway, there are so many Sapling questions to do, it’s insane. I love the fact that they’re giving us so many questions(not complaining), but I wish the due dates were a bit farther away from each other…just my opinion. Most of the stuff we’re doing right now is review from Chem 123, but I honestly didn’t learn as much of the organic part as I should have, last year….so that’s a tad bit annoying. Plus, the midterm is a week away…YAY. My first midterm WOULD be my “hardest” course. I feel like I’m neglecting all my other subjects because of O-Chem – mistake. Random suggestion – if you have the chance to take Chem 233 in the summer session – I would STRONGLY encourage it, you can do SOO much better if you’re just doing one course, and Chem 233 is a course that needs a lot of attention. Everyone that I know that did Chem 233 in the summer did exceptionally well, so give it a thought. I’m also slightly behind with writing my research proposal for English…..whoops. On the bright side….I had the most productive one and a half hours of my life today(those moments you impress yourself are definitely ones that should be cherished forever)….and tomorrow is FRIDAY. There definitely needs to be more Fridays in a week – but that would probably potentially bring up some major decrease in liver functionality in the student population. Alsooo, I feel like the walking paths are getting narrower and narrower each day with construction fences being moved around….and the sprinklers actually spray people – that’s a problem. And don’t forget to check out the pretty rad song below.

getting through the school week. (click gif for source)

 

One of Those Dumb Days

I woke up at a ridiculously early time this morning. And went to bed late. Total amount of sleep in the last two nights: 9.5-10.5 hours..aka..not enough – exams haven’t even STARTED! 😥 I can barely keep my eyes open right now…I’ve reached a point that goes beyond sleep deprived. Sleep deprivation leads to me doing dumb things.
#1 – I woke up, rolled over, and fell off of my bed. That definitely woke me up. Great start to the morning, really. 
#2 – Completely zoned out in both my classes today. I literally have no idea what happened, it probably wouldn’t have made a difference if I hadn’t shown up for class.
#3- Tried to troll someone via text and then ended up sending texts to the wrong person, making things “awkward”.
#4 -Took a rather long route to get to my residence from the SUB(something that should have taken maybe 8 minutes, ended up taking 20)…I ended up going in a circle, for no apparent reason.
#5- I learned that I couldn’t drink(no not alcohol) and walk at the same time, and looked like an idiot TRYING to accomplish that huge feat.
#6 – Opened the door to get into my residence, looked back and saw someone behind me, closed the door and kept walking….30 seconds later, I realized that I had basically shut the door on someone…so I walked back and opened it for that person, the person clearly thought I was nuts.
#7 – Somehow managed to get soap in my mouth.
#8 – Practically ignored almost everyone that was talking to me today because I was completely zoning people out.
#9- Managed to burn food in the microwave, which is just really dumb in general.
#10 – Homework-wise, I’ve accomplished next to nothing.
#11- A strange bug just bit me. I hate bugs. 

 They aren’t that dumb. But I feel dumb. I just need sleep. I’ve been too busy. I need a hug. Time for comfort food.

Life’s Little Instruction Book – ‘When you see someone sitting alone on a bench, make it a point to speak to them’. 

Story Of My Life.

Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swamps of the not quite, the not yet, and the not at all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists. It is real. It is possible. It is yours.